I’ve always loved dinosaurs. Like most kids, maybe. I remember going to the Peabody Museum down at Yale as a child and being in awe of the size and imagined ferocity of these creatures. I rather liked the Ankylosaurus because they were basically turtle Thors. Well, I arrived in Bangkok from Istanbul very early in the day and couldn’t check into my hotel at the time.
Note: I stayed at an Amanta property and it was fantastic. Clean, well-managed, responsive, comfortable beds, and…hot high pressure showers! I made a course correction on this trip re my lodging plans. Due to bad luck with a couple of squalor-stays using AirBNB in Casa and Lisbon, I went back to hotels. A few reasons. First, they're predictable. You know what you are going to get. No Byzantine quest to find the place and then go through a self check-in process where you have to decode three separate lock boxes while reciting incantations in Latin as if you are going into the Vatican's Holy of Holies. Second, they generally have laundry services; and on longer excursions like this one where you are only using carry-ons, that’s very helpful and saves you the agony of going out and looking for a private operator, though there is a certain charm and adventure to that too, I’ll admit. Third, I like to have access to the staff for questions on logistics, local services, sites, etc.
In any case, I stored my luggage at the hotel and I went for a walk, which took me through some local markets, into a nice - really nice indoor air-conditioned mall, and ultimately to Lumphini Park for a nice walkabout. I was caught by surprise at 8:00 on the dot when all of the walkers and runners and bikers in the park stopped dead in their tracks and took a position of attention. Then I heard music over the speakers and realized it was the Thai national anthem. I later learned that this happens every morning at 8.
I continued the walk. I then sensed movement on the edge of the pond to the left, turned my head, and this is what I saw creeping out of the muddy waters as I strolled by.
I can’t tell you how thrilled I was. It was like I was 8 again, which I am in many ways, but this time it was more about childlike wonder than it was about laughing at flatulence. This animal was gorgeous. Intelligent eyes, 4’ long head to tail. Its skin was dry, mottled, green-gray, and scaly only in the sense that they looked like small beads, rather than overlapping plates of armor. Still it looked thick and protective. And it had certain quadruped swagger; its body language saying, “I’d eat you if I were bigger, you tender pale morsel.” I continued the walk, smiling at I don’t know what. Maybe by existing in the same moment with that child of Daenerys. I don’t feel like doing any paleontological research right now, but I want to say that the Gobi Desert in China is the most dino fossil-rich area in the world, isn’t it? Is this connected to the dragon focus in Asian culture? Dunno.
Thailand is charming and I’ve really enjoyed it. The people are so kind and attentive. The uniquely Thai design elements in architecture, sculpture, and textiles are unique and magnetic, and the food is wonderful, deep in flavor, and fresh. But I also realize that what I am seeing right now is a huge city. The place is enormous and loud and chaotic in a weirdly orderly way. Yes, they have beautiful parks situated well throughout the city to support the physically active (and the lizards), but it is still a small piece of a highly built environment. At some point I’d love to come back to this country and get up into the mountain villages near Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai, and Mae Hong Son, and listen to the sounds of macaques and gibbons, rather than Hondas.
Thailand is also one of the most challenging places I have ever been in terms of figuring out my way around. I felt truly foreign here. I always manage to get done what I need to, but English is not ubiquitous here (the hospitality industry as an exception), and the alphabet, Aksorn, derived from the ancient Khmer culture, is utterly unique (also gorgeous to look at) but impenetrable if you need to read something. I felt like a pre-schooler just staring at these indecipherable symbols. Consequently, there was a great deal of made up in the moment sign language, mostly me pointing at things and looking clueless.
The traffic here is a sight to behold, and like many other South Asian, Southeast Asian, and East Asian cities, the motorbike/scooter class absolutely rules the roads. There are so many of them and it is as if they have no individuation. It’s more like they act like an an ant colony, or maybe even a murmuration of starlings. Perhaps blood cells in our veins. No individual matters, but the moving, revving, exhausting, honking horde of them has some kind of proto-sapient agency. They are better understood that way. Remarkable to watch.
But not simply watch. One must participate in Life. Not sit back and judge it. And no, I don’t have a death wish but I do want to experience things and get adrenalized a little bit when I can. Not by cave diving, not by free-climbing, and not by bungee jumping (though I would maybe do that for money if offered). The Uber of this part of Asia I’m visiting is called Grab. It's like Bolt in Portugal or inDrive in Morocco. Works great. In Thailand the vehicle options to get you to your destination are varied. Cars, vans, limos, etc. But one of the options is motorbike. So, yeah. You can request a scooter to come pick you up. Because there is so much congestion the two-wheeler is almost always the fastest way to get to where you need to be, especially if you aren’t carrying luggage. You request it, the response time is fast because there is always a scooter somewhere near you, as close as a nitrogen atom. They arrive, they give you a helmet, you verify identity, jump on the back of the bike and off you go. Accelerating into traffic, weaving in and out of cars, dodging truck mirrors to avoid getting straight-armed, and ultimately, breathlessly, you arrive, thankful you remain alive.
Bangkok is so hot and humid. It puts SC in August to shame. And what’s funny is that one of Thailand’s draws for Westerners is the food. At least it was for me; but with the heat conditions I never became ravenous because that’s how my ridiculously shredded body deals with wet air and being incinerated daily. But I did become lazy. In fact one night, after a day bopping around the city, lethargic, I became a bit peckish and just hopped over to the Boss-level 7-11 next door and got some easy to prepare spicy rice noodles to make in my room. It was either that or shrimp and plum flavored rice cakes or hot chili squid Doritos. I had stopped at a hawker stall near Lumphini Park earlier in the day for lunch and had a heaping, fresh, and incredibly tasty plate of Rad Na Goong, and that lasted me until later, around 5. So, water boiled, I added it to the noodles, and “nee-ngai!” It was done. Delicious! And from 7-11! I also had some pickled mango, a grapefruit and a few slices of pitaya. Cost me maybe $3. “Such a deal,” my friend G. Himmelfarb would say.
I did starve myself for an entire day however toward the end of this BKK leg to force a ravening hunger because I had made a reservation at Gobi, which is supposed to be one of the best buffets in town, and I wanted to get the most from it. It delivered. Honestly, kind of light on the Thai offerings, but it was constructed to serve a very international crowd. They had a couple of Thai noodle dishes (Padh Thái , Lǎo Thái ), sticky rice, prawn cakes, char-grilled chicken, roast whole salmon, and several steamed vegetables. Beyond that they had prime rib, a little taco/burrito section, fresh pizza (looked good but I didn’t want any), and a really large South Asian station consisting of a nice biryani, three different curries- lamb, chicken, and vegetable, and fresh garlic naan. I’m not a big sweets guy, but the dessert section was incredible too. So colorful. Cakes, pastries, tarts, bread pudding, ice cream with fixings. But I had a quarter ton of fresh fruit to rationalize the health benefits in the face of the insult I had just exposed my body to.
I’ve never been one to drink my calories, unless it involved carbs during a long race, or a good cocktail, enjoyed in moderation. I don’t do soda or fruit juices, but after being here in Thailand I kind of get it. It is so hot and humid here, so many gallons of perspiration leaking out of millions of sweating bodies, that people are going to want something beyond simple water to replenish it. Drinks are a massive part of the economy here. Cha Yen (Thai Iced Tea), Nam Prao (Fresh Coconut Water), Oliang (Iced Coffee), Nam Manao (Lime Juice), Nam Krajiab (Hibiscus Juice), Nam Hoy (Sugarcane Juice), Nom Yen (Thai Pink Milk), Nam Dok Anchan (Butterfly Peaflower Tea). All of these are everywhere, and they are very popular. And so colorful! I have seen more people drinking these than holding plastic bottles of water. I didn’t imbibe, but I do understand. Also, WTH is boba? It seems like beach ball tapioca, but I'm not sure.
Ever walk down the street and see a couple and do a double take neck snap asking, “How the Hell did that happen?” Well, after the first day in BKK I needed a neck massage (which I ended up getting-read on) because of this phenomenon. I have seen so many middle-aged and older white guys coupled up with gorgeous Thai women. It hit me as a bit creepy at first. The cynic in me went right to the three ring binder “mail order bride” phenomenon. Well, I dug a little and learned that this is a bit anachronistic at this point and since the advent of dating apps, we’re seeing a whole lot more “legitimate” matches which are more a function of Western men shifting from past norms and willing to have a relationship between equals rather than ones where the middle class dude is preying on the socio-economically desperate realities of the woman. It used to be that he wanted a essentially praying upon the hyper attractive woman to be his; and she wanted a sugar daddy to take her away from the overwhelming drudgery and poverty of the Thai backcountry. Now it is a dialogue, or at least it seems that way.
I got a Thai massage and it was awkward at first. This is one of those things one must be wary of. I can’t even count the number of times, as I strolled the streets of BKK, that I was asked to come into a “spa” and get a “delightful” massage, the end state of which was amorphously promised at best. What I do know is that the Sirens sitting outside those establishments were, to a woman (and they were all women)- dressed to the nines, skin forward, made up cosmetically with what can only be described as a sultry and suggestive messaging. I kept the beeswax in my ears and strode on. So, I did some research and found a place that was certified, ethical, and had a great reputation locally and internationally amongst the traveling class. As luck would have it was only a short walk from my hotel. A place called Mooklada.
After a run one morning I walked into that place, sweaty and spent, and made a reservation for later in the day. The guy asked if I wanted a man or a woman to work on me. I didn’t care, and I told him. This was therapy and education for me. Nothing else. So I went and did my day and ended up back at Mooklada late in the afternoon. I walked in for my appointment and the lobby was full of staff. The women were beautiful, yes, but they were wearing Polo shirts and trousers, not fishnet and only fishnet.
I got a guy masseuse, Somchai. He was super kind and he knew straight away that I was a first timer and maybe a bit disoriented and nervous. I had no idea what to do. Without a word spoken he urged me to sit down and then with a tub of hot water and soap. He washed my feet. Feet are considered to be the lowest and dirtiest part of the body, and so this is a symbolic gesture of preparation prior to a therapeutically cleansing activity. After the foot bath he directed me upstairs to the massage rooms. There were four calm sanctuaries up there, each with a pad, and lovely and calming decorations, separated by thick curtains. I was the only client up there. Somchai motioned that I should get undressed and get into this cotton pyjama-like outfit for the massage. So I put all my stuff into a bin and got into that very non-Lululemon ensemble. Very comfortable. He motioned that I should lay down on the mat face down, and then he went to work. Thai massage is a very unique thing. Combining acupressure, Ayurvedic practices, and the meditation of the practitioner while he/she is practicing, it is less about simply rubbing muscles and more about full constant bodyweight focused on areas the therapist identifies (for me he found that my neck/cervical area was full of tight knots and he really hit those hard - to great effect. He wouldn't let it go), rocking of the joints, cracking toes and fingers, and pull/push assisted poses and stretches. He giggled at the end when he saw how absolutely unflexible I am because of stupidly tight hamstrings. I’m embarrassed by this as well. It was an hour treatment, not all comfortable, and I felt fantastic at the end. I slept like a babe that night. (This a rendition, and very close.)
Not unlike this very unique idea of saudade, a nuanced “longing” I learned about in Portugal, Thailand also has a sociocultural interpersonal stance which I find to be fascinating and which doesn’t map to anything in our American culture or language. It is called Kreng Jai, and it basically means a desire to avoid causing discomfort or bothering others. It is a sort of a hypercharged sense of empathy and it translates into radical kindness and acknowledgement of every move of the other person so as to ensure a smooth flow of the situation, whatever that happens to be. From a good meal served by the wait staff, to an interaction with the hotel cleaning lady to your madman Grab scooter driver, to the lady in the hawker stall who only knows one thing, and that is how to make a delectable mango sticky rice for you. It’s everywhere from the bow of greeting and thanks, to paying the handful of baht for a delicious meal down some back alley. It is a tangible thing and the world needs more of it.
I say farewell to Thailand in hopes that I’ll be back and that I will be able to reciprocate the kindnesses shown to me, and emulate them. Also see lizards and primates.
Thanks for reading.
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